You don’t? That’s probably because it happened on Saturday. And I’d been so good, Lo these past three months, avoiding and fearing very much being followed by any member of a variety of different Utah-related law-enforcement agencies and their very handsome, armed representatives. I guess you could say I’d been “driving” without “current” “registration,” but it’s not like I was concurrently engaging in illegal Diet Coke trafficking or clubbing baby harp seals, too.

So yeah, I guess I was a little taken aback on Saturday at 3:00 p.m. when I was, at last, struck down, flashed, and apprehended by clandestine copper, one Officer D. Teeples. I was just short of the intersection of 200 North Main Street, admiring the Logan Temple peeking out from behind the trees, when I caught the reflection of the lights in my rearview mirror.

I was already in the lefthand lane, so I thought I’d avoid further embarrassment by quickly turning left through the intersection and then into a parking lot just past it. But that was hilarious because there was too much in the way of oncoming traffic and we had to wait through another cycle of the stoplight. With the lights still flashing on the paddywagon behind me.

He wrote me a ticket. I’d be willing to remodel your kitchen or patch drywall for a little extra change. And, by “remodel your kitchen” and “patch drywall” I mean “rearrange appliances” and “hang a few picture frames,” respectively.

Yes, I guess I am grateful that he didn’t impound the car like he was quite sure to let me know he was quite capable of doing. But, I’ll also admit that “Remember that one time Dawne & I went to Logan and I got a ticket?” doesn’t have quite the same ring as, “Remember that one time Dawne & I went to Logan and I had to be bailed out of the poky while Dawne sat outside on a bench crying?”

But I’ll stick with what I’ve got for now.

In other news, because I don’t want to spend an entire post on it, and emboldened for emphasis, I gave my two-weeks’ notice today. I’m starting a new job with a new corporation two weeks from today, in fact. I am both thrilled and terrified all at once. It is a feeling that has me wanting to throw up more than dance or laugh quite yet.